odd day

Odd day today, not that I have been having normal days lately but anyway pretty odd none the less. It finally hit me that Bangalore was target to a terrorist attack, and that to at IISC, one of the places that I used to hang out at.  Our family has been quite attached to IISC since my great uncle was a professor there in the 1930s so this really hit a chord.  I mean, to think this is a place of learning and these fucks want to hit this place. Where is the compassion, if there is such a thing? Well and the part which bugs me is that we as we could care less about something like this.  Almost seems “normal”, has the world just lost it?

Anyway then today we all get a mail from one of our profs and he just lost him mom, poor guy seems like no on at the institute helped him out at the time of his greatest need.  He wasn’t even able to reach the hospital on time.  Well anyway point being that I think this world is getting overly desensitized.  Also I think we are all losing it, stuck in our own worlds.  We are more concerned about the lakh or 2 more that we would make coming out of here than having a humanitarian approach to life.  

Well after all this one of my close buddies is leaving for the US on an exchange program, and it just hit me I will be out of here in 3 months.  Wonder what the world has in store for me, wonder what!!!!

Who am I?

I have been pretty confused for quite a few days now, have felt kinda low and have been feeling like something has been pulling me down. been trying to figure out what it is and havent come to much of a conclusion. At times I feel betrayed, betrayed by the whole world, betrayed by myself, and betrayed by this very existance.

sometimes I feel like I dont know whats going on. Take for instance, the people you think are your "good friends" and now they all seem to be nothing more than acquaintances. Dont wanna meet them, feel like I cant talk anythign more than just the most mundane things, and these are people I used to be able to tell everything to. Similarly people who I interacted with in the begining of the year in ISB, many of them I dont even talk to, in fact I tend to just avoid them at the first chance I get. Is there something wrong with me? How can things change this much?

As I write this all I can picture is the very first day at ISB, where I was frantically looking for people to hang out with. Finding some good friends in the begining did make life here a lot more bearable. Then I guess the characters in the play changed or rather they found other plays to go act in (whatever the case). Then new guys took new roles, more important roles I guess...... at times I feel like this whole experience has been a blur, I dont know exactly when, what and how things happened, and I feel like I am lost....... WELLL pretty pointless ramble today, but thats the way the day has been.....

no time to duck

When life hits you like a ton of bricks, and you don’t have the time to duck, it really is a revelation of sorts. And so much shit is happening these days that I don’t know where I am headed.  Sometimes shit is thrown at me and I dont even know where its coming from.  When will all this end???????

I need a remote!!!!!

Yesterday was a shitty day!!!! Sometimes you just want a remote which could possibly rewind the whole day and you get to fix some of the stupid things one does.  And yesterday was one of those. I wish I could completely erase it from memory.  All I was doing today is think about things that went wrong and wish I could undo some of the things.  

Sometimes I feel I am trapped in some warped sense of reality where I am losing control day by day.  I would of all people!!!!! COME ON!!! How is it possible? But I am I am just not the same guy I was when I came here.
     
I wonder why we are not able to use are heads at times? God damn it, I am usually the type of guy who runs purely on logic, and I just could not yesterday.  Man do I wish I could change things.  I feel like I am completely at fault, can I fix what happened? I am not sure.  Really am not.

I just feel like CRYING!!!!!!

another term!!!!

Well well,  So what do I say now? Its 6th term now, and this term is a lot easier than lot of the earlier terms.  Some of the good news this term is that I have published a paper in the All India Management Association’s journal call “Indian Management” Pretty proud of that.  Also we have been short listed in Draper fischers All India B-Plan competition, which is definitely an amazing achievement.  

Hmmmm what else? Well there are so many things I would like to say, but this medium is just not the right forum.  Anyhow so imagine that we actually did not know that our paper was published, until my buddy was reading the magazine and goes “this looks familiar” only to find that it was actually our paper.  Pretty cool eh?  

SO now we have about 4 people from XLRI who are in my quad for competitions which are going to be held at ISB.  Gotta show them a good time, and give them the same treatment that they gave us when we went there.  
Well thats about it for today (